Snails WO45s 5 - 4 Teddington Flamingoes (H)
By Izzy Sweers
The Curse of the Flamingoes: A Snail’s Egyptian Adventure
On a Sunday afternoon at KGS, the mighty Surbiton Snails emerged from their shells to face the Teddington Flamingoes in a nine-goal battle worthy of the ancient Egyptian history books. The sun shone, the clouds gathered, the drizzle arrived, and the O45s’ joints began to feel approximately 4,000 years old.
Disaster struck before the first whistle when Monica pulled her hamstring during the warm-up. Our first casualty before battle had even commenced! Thankfully, Monica swapped her stick for the role of chief tactician, managing substitutions from the sidelines with the authority of Cleopatra herself. No mean feat when you’re trying to herd a collection of Snails.
Despite our reputation for moving at a leisurely pace, the Snails attacked like an Egyptian army. After just two minutes, a lovely cross found Taryn perfectly positioned to tap home the opener. The Flamingoes barely had time to ruffle their feathers.
Sian added a cracking second, but the Flamingos fought back with two goals to level at 2-2.
Having already launched an ambitious reverse stick strike over the crossbar, Sian lined up another. This time the Flamingoes defenders scattered like tourists fleeing a mummy’s tomb. The keeper saved, but Taryn pounced on the rebound to restore the Snails’ lead at 3-2.
Across the pitch, Annie guarded the goal like the entrance to Tutankhamun’s tomb, making some fantastic saves. Ellie, Emma, Debs and Dempsey formed a defensive wall worthy of the pyramid builders, with strong marking, determined tackling and excellent passing around the back.
Sunny brought calm control to midfield, supported by Claire, Philippa and Sian, while the ever-versatile Sinead switched between midfield and defence, appearing wherever reinforcements were needed.
Up front, Anka, Ruth, Taryn and Izzy kept the Flamingos busy with great movement, attacking runs and relentless pressure.
Half-time: 3-2 to the Snails.
The second half began with the Flamingoes striking back to make it 3-3. With the opposition gaining momentum, Captain Sinead decided enough was enough. Like a pharaoh addressing her troops, she announced that we’d had quite enough fun and it was time to get on with the job. No more goals for the Flamingoes!
Suitably rallied, the Snails marched forward, creating plenty of chances but struggling to find the finishing touch.
Then came a short corner and the traditional Snails council meeting to decide who was pushing out, who was stopping and whether anyone actually knew the plan. Even the ancient Egyptians managed to organise the building of the pyramids with less debate.
Izzy eventually cut through the discussion with a tactical masterstroke: “Sian, just smack it in!”. And smack it in she did! A beautiful lifted strike from the top of the D restored the lead at 4-3.
Unfortunately, the Flamingoes hadn’t received the royal decree and promptly equalised again. 4-4!
With the battle hanging in the balance, Teddington won two nerve-racking short corners. Annie and the defensive unit stood firm, while the midfield battled tirelessly to regain possession. Getting the ball through the Flamingoes midfield was beginning to feel like pushing a pyramid uphill.
Then came the decisive moment. Sian unleashed a quick slap that sailed over the defenders towards goal. Taryn was perfectly positioned and briefly considered a spectacular header, before remembering this was hockey, not football! Thankfully, she resisted temptation and the ball flew in untouched. 5-4 to the Snails!
The final whistle brought enormous relief, a hard-fought victory and the realisation that getting out of bed on Monday morning might require an archaeological excavation.
Player of the Match: Taryn - Two excellent goals, fantastic positioning and tireless movement (confirmed by her Strava).
Final score: Surbiton Snails 5-4 Teddington Flamingoes