Women's 6s 0 - 3 Wanderers 5s (A)

The W6s ventured back to Battersea Park for the second time in consecutive weeks with another Wanderers showdown on the cards. 

The day started brightly with a smile, wave and a good luck to a fellow SHC men’s team lingering at the bus stop on St John’s Hill. 

Then while on the 344 Sinead encouraged a former Zambia player to return to hockey and seek out her local Walking Hockey programme.

Becky appointed herself Team Hugger much to the appreciation of many. (Apart from one obvious team member who provided everyone with a helpful explanation on the importance of respecting her personal space).

Stars were aligning and omens were good. We took to the pitch with energy and optimism high. 

Seren and Zoe confounded the opposition with their blistering pace driving high up the pitch while Hatchy and Tarryn staked out the D and threatened goals galore. The wing press worked well and intercepts and turnovers allowed us to keep piling on the pressure.

Lila and Val rotated through the high centre mid position feeding balls into the D or in Val’s case just bulldozing in and winning PCs. Route One, nuance-free. 

Tash and Becky covered double the distance of everyone else with drives up the pitch only to quickly sprint back after turnovers to chase down opponents. Who needs a morning Park Run?

Chances came, chances went. Flicks at goal, reverse stick strikes, short corner rockets, balls bouncing through the GKs pads only to be scrambled off the line. It was starting to feel like it may not be the day to buy a scratch card.

Then the heavens opened and it looked like the weirdest aerobics class ever. Players went slipping on the deck. Sticks went flying. The umpiring led to a lot of arms in the air from both sides. 

Hatchy’s moisturiser blinded her. The waterlogged iPad struggled to keep up with the subs. 3-trousered-Tarek rued not having a fourth set of waterproof trousers on. Super-spectators Pauline, Jay and Vanessa would have sold their souls for an umbrella and Barney the dog embraced the puddles and started developing a strong Eau de Soggy Chien fragrance.

Frustrations ran high in the second half as Wanderers increasingly threatened our D. Sinead and Sammy swept up attack after attack with Kirst and Niamh driving the ball out of defence and trying to find those elusive outlets up the line. Hutch booted balls to safety with her characteristic coolness.

But despite our best efforts Wanderers wore us down, got the luck of some umpiring advantage calls and stuck a couple away.

The scoreline massively flattered them but we need to stick it in the net too and convert our chances.

We retired to the pub for teas and a post mortem with lashings of Brixton, Neck Oil, Chicken wine and diet cokes.

So our return to Battersea was not a sequel to relish. Like a Batman sequel, but that one with Mr Freeze that only got 14% on Rotten Tomatoes.

POM: Niamh for tireless work in defence and working the ball out of trouble

DOD: Val, who despite announcing before the game she’d be playing the whistle was the first to start the YMCA arm signals at the umpiring.