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Men’s 2s 2 - 2 Bromley & Beckenham 1s (H)

6th March 2023

By Liam Doidge

Honours even after an open and competitive game against Brom Becks

(2-1 HT, 2-2 FT)

It was a brisk Saturday evening when Surbiton and Bromley & Beckenham faced off at Sugden Road. Surbiton was the home team, but apparently, our meet times are more of a suggestion, as several players, including the coach, showed up fashionably late, probably still recovering from their Friday night antics.

The changing room was a bit of an odd place to be pre-game, with Calnan straddling Goughy, trousers down, loosening up his gluteus maximus with his elbow on the Physio table. It was conveniently placed in the middle of the changing room - like some kind of ‘show’.

Unlike the previous week, the warm-up was 'much better' and we didn’t get told off by ’Teacher Tim’ - mini win. We made made some really slick passes that led to maybe Dan? (I feel he played well enough to claim a goal) scoring the first goal - not sure if it was him, it wasn’t me so I can’t remember. I did text Dave ‘I’ve got new socks on today so I’m going to score’ Bartram-Collins but as usual, unless he needs something or you have XX chromosomes, he doesn’t reply. (Match sheet suggests Scott Evans scored the opening goal after 11 mins).

Anyway - the first half was dominated by Surbiton, but Bromley & Beckenham managed to score a penalty corner that saw the ball fly into the top right of the goal, sending Ore driving the wrong way - think his head was still making its way home from the local Allbaroné in Clapham. Not to be outdone, Surbiton won a penalty stroke a few moments later as a result of some nice play from the ‘youngsters', Liam stepped up and scored bottom left, bringing the score to 2-1.

Unfortunately, Liam decided to get a bit too flashy for the handful of spectators watching on the hill with his second penalty stroke attempt, putting the ball ‘wayyyyy’  over the bar, making it a truly terrible PS. With both teams looking for the win, the game turned into a back-and-forth, attack Vs defence game. Jack even asked to be substituted off at one point, claiming he had a trapped nerve and couldn't breathe. Despite the setback of not having the country’s best V-Dragger on the pitch the team soaked up the pressure well and defended until the half time whistle came. Team manager and all-rounder, Glyn Jones B.B.C (Bibs, Balls, Cones), was ready to add a new acronym to his resume and perform CPR if needed, so we were all in safe hands.

Bromley & Beckenham managed to score another goal in the second half, tying up the score at 2-2, which is how the game ended.

Notable mentions include Nihal for not getting a card, Birdy for keeping it fresh with a flashy new haircut, Calnan sporting a terrible post-match t-shirt from a local spot in Exeter, Scotty for holding onto the ball a bit too long during the game - something he should really work on, Haspel struggling to trap a ball, and Calnan for still being owed £100 for DJing at an U14 birthday party- something he hasn’t forgotten about. Let’s also not forget the most important detail - Goughy admitting that Will Fulker was his idol growing up.

Overall, it was a semi-okay performance from Surbiton, but we were definitely disappointed in not securing the three points at home. We'll have to regroup and come back stronger next week when we face Indian Gym at home on Sunday (supporters have a choice to make between M1 vs Reading on pitch 1 or M2 on pitch 2).

Joint POM - Dan, Scotty, Jack, Calnan, Lars, Birdy & Goughy

DOD - Doidge