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Three wins & three reports from the Men’s 2s!

21st February 2022

By Rhys Linnell & Harry 'Shnu' Norris

Men’s 2s 4 – 2 Henley 1s

Saturday 19th February  |  By Rhys Linnell

“U18s and their drivers overcome Henley”
EH Championships Tier 2 RO16

I can’t think that any of the 2s boys will be buying tickets for the Regatta as every time we go to Henley it’s cold, windy, raining and the M4 is closed. Still, go there we did.

Matty Hughson’s form, Foxy’s silky skills at training and the fact that Scott was good when those lads weren’t born, meant that the 2s were slightly depleted for the cup trip. New first team starter Jamie Taylor doesn’t even talk to us at training anymore and Billy Winter was also absent as he’s recovering from not remembering anything of last week’s game. You’d think a man as socially active as Bill is used to that, but apparently not.

Despite the aforementioned sob story, when James Evans tucked away a lovely reverse inside three minutes, all seemed very familiar. Talking of familiar, not long afterwards Shnu was too busy chatting to the umpire to see the ball roll past him unmarked on the top of the circle, securing his third DOD in a row.

Henley, increasingly angry at losing to an under 18 team plus drivers, got rather more aggressive in the second half.

Of the 13 players we took, at one stage we had four on the bench: two head injuries, Pinky inspecting a potential broken hand, and Jake sitting there with his shoe and shinpad off, presumably checking if there was a pebble in there from his night out in Portsmouth on Tuesday.

Despite the pebble, Jake put in a performance so good that Beaumont gave him credit (strangely aggressively) in the post match team talk. Mr Thompson has added threading passes to his trademark one on one skills it would seem, and he collected the man of the match award.

Your writer rarely gives credit to goalkeepers for simply doing their job but it should be said that Griggs made a ridiculous save to deny a back post tap in when the game was still in the balance.

During the second half, Beau realised that the ball cannoning into the fence was probably more to do with him not flicking it straight than the speed of the injections and scored two goals to take the game away from the hosts. Bean also scored his customary tap in (there’s no substitute for experience).

My final mention has to be for Dylan, who managed to partake in celebratory shower beers without showering nor staying for teas; a display of selective socialising that must be commended.

Next week the 2s go to another place people might think we don’t fancy - West Hampstead - in a big league game. The boys will be keen to show once again that they can do it on a rainy day up north.

Men’s 2s 7 – 2 Purley Walcountians 1s

Saturday 12th February  |  By Harry 'Schnu' Norris

POM: Beau & Rhys
DOD: Shnu

Valentine’s Day weekend saw a cold, sunny Saturday afternoon game at the fortress. Cards had been posted, flowers were purchased, dinners were booked, the lads were in good spirits on arrival. The routine never changes for the boys in white, Griggs tries to see straight with his 4am hangover, Jamma talks at us for half an hour about hockey things that no one understands and Matty rocks up when he wants. The winning formula.

A first half saw two open field goals from Surbiton which were matched by corner flicks from Purley. Shnu heroically put his body on the line to get close to a high speed drag flick but unfortunately it wasn’t enough to keep it out. HT 2-2.

Liam “The True Gaffa” Doidge settled the nerves at half time with some wise words and the boys in white moved quickly through the gears in the second half. Memorable moments included the crowd having to avert their eyes as Matty pulled the back fours’ pants down with some 3D skills and Beau throwing an aerial further than he’d run in the game for Bean to tip in. Other goals also happened. FT 7-2.

Post match the lads from Purley did not learn that today wasn’t their day. A challenge of a boat race saw them taking another L, with VAR seeing Beanhead’s early start as not clear and obvious to overturn.

Post post game Beaumont had pints and Rhys wore a shirt with Steve on it.

Nice one, Shnu.

Men’s 2s 5 – 0 London Academicals 1s

Saturday 5th February | By Harry 'Schnu' Norris

POM: Rhys
DOD: Shnu

A gorgeous Saturday morning saw the lads from Surbiton travel to play some not so academical blokes somewhere in London. It was destined to be a day to remember with no hangovers in sight and Matty only rocking up 20 minutes late, what could possibly go wrong.

Some muppet decided to not write a match report for this week so I haven’t got a clue how the goals went in but there were five to us and not a lot to them. The more exciting part for the travelling fans were the men in green that had definitely received new cards for Christmas and wanted to take them for a test run.

Shnu managed to see a green and yellow whilst being more innocent than a fruit smoothie. The same can’t be said, however, for Scotty who decided to try and slog a bloke out to cow corner when he lifted the ball.

Shoutout to Rhys for moaning about umpires while not realising they were in the shower with him, and still managing to give Shnu DOD.