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Men’s 2s 4 - 1 Bromley & Beckenham 1s (A)

1st November 2022

By Billy Winter

M2 return to winning ways and christen their new black away shirts in style

The Men’s 2s returned to action this weekend in what would be a day to remember. Having opened the season with four thrilling draws from as many games, Brom Becks were clearly going to be a stiff task with no coach on the day. After a smooth travel through some of the finer parts of South London, the mighty 2s found themselves faced with a state of the art national league set up - based on a minimalistic theme. With outdoor changing rooms and as many portaloos as there were pitches, the team talk consisted of everyone reading Jamma’s pre-match homework on the school benches, whilst the likes of Bird, Schnu and Winter had to come up with more creative means to be ‘lightened’ for the upcoming battle.

We started the game in our traditional fashion - conceding early to spice thing up. However following this the lads started to assert themselves. After some aggressive pressing on their poor captain, and a few rash tackles on their part, we found ourselves 2-1 ahead at half time.

A spiritual rousing from Doidge at half time spurred the boys on into the second half as we became more dominant in possession and output. Calnan, Haspel and Beyer took much pleasure in making many of the lads in white look silly, with many more of them taking their marching orders out of frustration. In terms of the midfield: Scotty was good, Rhys was good, Goughy was fast and Schnu was there. Sadly, up top most of the chances ended up in front of Bill who seemed more interested in flicking the ball at their captain than the back of the net, thankfully Doidge slotted the resulting stroke to make it 3-1.

The festivities were also brightened by an entertaining pack of the Brom Becks faithful who filled the air with high pitched shrills and a level of humour appropriate for the standard throughout the game, culminating in a slapstick-esque Scotty golf swing.

A couple of injuries may have defined the second half, had it not been for Hunt deciding to tell the umpire exactly what he thought of him, before Goughy picked the wrong moment for some gamesmanship - leaving the lads to hold onto a lead with nine. A good challenge never stopped the Surby boys however, with Bean sealing off a venomous team counter in classic Bean backhand fashion and put us out of reach.

Festivities continued after the game at the local county cricket club, with pasta and bread complemented by hearty beers thanks to the undying generosity of newly acclaimed super fan Matt Cannon, set to be throwing rugby and Coventry to the wind to take a permanent fixture upon the mound at the fabled Sugden Road.

My evening came to a close after watching Hughson sit down a couple of boys in blue for the 1s, where former super-fan Baker made a cameo, and Doidge wasted a lot of beer.

The boys roll on to next week with another physical away day at Indian Gym, which promises to be another test which we intend to step up to the mantle of. At the very least the teas will be better.

Goals: Winter (FG), Doidge (PC & PS), Bartram (FG)

POM: Doidge - for being Cannon’s favourite player

DOD: Winter - for being able to score off the baseline but not the P spot (repeatedly).


  • Jamma got selected for the 1s
  • Schnu can’t do a drop pass
  • Baker is no longer our No1 fan
  • Dan Hunt might just be angrier than Scotty
  • Ore is scary when he’s angry
  • Doidge can flick it really hard
  • Bar Niku is too upmarket for the Men’s 2s now
  • Brom Becks is made by the fans
  • A five man boat race versus Bill might make good viewing
  • We really like Cannon
  • Rhys knows some solid blokes
  • Calnan appears to perform better off the pitch than on it
  • Will F. Haspel