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M2 Edge Closer to Securing National League Promotion

7th March 2022

By Rhys Linnell

Men’s 2 6 – 1 Wimbledon 2s

"There’s some people on the pitch…"

The 2s started Saturday four points clear at the top of London Prem. They ended it in Niku bar, toasting to a magnificent seven (and Daisy’s birthday, of course).

During the interim, we scored six goals, missed a stroke and gave away a stroke (the latter two courtesy of your writer). Those that were there on Saturday, this week actually a much larger number than usual (lovely to see and hear so many of you on the hill), will tell you that’s only half the story…

Like Roger needed to play Rafa to show how good he was, the 2s saved their best performance of the season for when it mattered most. The tennis reference in the match report is all that Wimbledon took with them back down the A3.

There were some goals from the gods. Not like my individual strike against Southgate (annoyingly seen by much fewer people), but team goals flowing from end to end. James Evans tapped in at the back post after 90 seconds, Scotty dived to score rather than to con an umpire and Dan Hunt, fresh from an impressive bulking phase, slotted past the keeper. Your writer gave a stroke away before the interval to make sure the masses reappeared from the bar.

The encore was even better. Scotty scored a hit from the top of the circle (not a typo) to take us to four. He also scored our sixth to bring up the captain’s hat trick after a wonderfully silky lay off from Mr Hunt.

Sandwiched in between that was a lovely move finished by Jake Thompson. It’s fair to say in the last month that Jake has “found it”. I’m not sure where he found it, but the bookies have already started paying out on the nightclubs of Portsmouth. A dazzling performance.

Only outshone by our captain. Perhaps best described by the words of Billy ‘20 minutes, 10 interceptions’ Winter:

“A performance so good that Scotty has written himself into Surbiton folklore and from this day forward, he’ll never be known simply as Sarah Evans’ husband ever again”.

I don’t often say nice things about Scott (even my best man’s speech only contained a couple of pats on the back), but yesterday was a performance for the ages. He might have a list of injuries longer than his hamstring but he’s even better than ever. Just don’t tell the first team - they’ve already stolen Matty.

With seconds remaining, so clear was our advantage that your writer used the platform to highlight to the crowd how important it is that we relay the pitch (and penalty spot). Please do your very best to purchase your raffle tickets for the 2024 Masterplan. Ann thanked me after the game for using the opportunity for such a noble cause.

The afore mentioned and the rest of the squad, who also put in superb performances, go to Lee Valley (yet again) next week where we hope to play that well again. Not because we absolutely need to win, but just because it’s bloody good fun!

MOM: Scott Evans
DOD: Rhys Linnell