Champions’ Performance from M6 to Finish Season

Men’s 6s 12 – 1 Ashford (Middlesex) 3s

The league-winning 6^th XI wrapped up the season with a thumping 12-1 victory; Rob Stone (6), Jason Foster (3), Dirk Smeed, Howard Corney and Luke Michael providing the goals.

The first ten minutes were fairly even, and it looked like Ashford had strengthened since our last meeting, but this proved to be a false dawn. A steady trickle of goals in the first half turned into a flood later in the game – this would normally be attributed to superior fitness, though this would be a bold claim given our average age is well over 40.

Match highlights included a vow of silence at half time from the whole team to avoid the ire of the umpires, only to receive two cards for hitting the ball away and wasting time when 9+ goals up; Toby providing two golden chances for Luke which were put either side of the goal from a total of six metres; a reverse deflection off the inside of the hook from Jason; the Ashford keeper getting lobbed only for the covering defender to stand on the line, watch the flight of the ball so intently that he forgot he owned a stick, literally taking it on the chin; Peter Chicken’s first goal for the 6s (wrong end); Tony’s futile attempts to decipher his own spreadsheet during the teamtalk.

The win capped off a title-winning season for the 6ths, so in case you have the misfortune to bump into one of the squad at the EOS, you ought to learn some of the stats below to feign some interest:

• The team finished on 46 points, 10 ahead of second place.
• A remarkable 89 goals scored means they averaged a score of 5.5 per game.
• According to Teamo, the squad calls upon 25 players over 40.
• The team operates very much like a school in reverse: a group of unruly 40-50 year-olds are kept in line by a teenager, Toby Thompson, though he has no clue what really goes on in the social media channels!