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Men’s 6s Stun Ashford with Twelve Goals

14th December 2021

By Jon Milsted

Surbiton 6s 12 – 1 Ashford (Middlesex) 3s

I’m going to keep this brief as it’s Christmas and I have more admin than the comms team at Number 10 to get on top of. 

Surbiton 6s 12 (twelve), Ashford (Middlesex) 3s: 1 (one)  

We won. Quite convincingly. Maybe the most surprising thing is we didn’t win by more. Yours truly once again contributed to that particular dilemma and hence managed to pick up the second Richard of the Day this term. Quite a feat I may add. In my defence my current Santa wish list is topped with 10 sessions at the local Chiropractor and at the moment putting socks on is quite an effort but at our age that’s just par for the course. 

The goals. Jabba squeezed in four, Stoner got two, Ravvers one, Sayer one, I chipped in with one and also … drum roll please…. Captain fantastic JJ scored a hat trick. Not only that but in the post-game debrief he heroically claimed a 100% conversion rate for shots to goals for the season. No one is quite sure whether to corroborate that or not, but given our advanced years and associated memory loss I suspect we’ll nod our heads and pretend to agree with him. 

Two other special mentions. Trevor for stepping up to take the next instalment of “who can miss a penalty flick”. He duly obliged but not before doing a Jonathan Edwards esc hop step and jump as a run up (is that not illegal?) before flicking (read: looping) the ball to the keeper’s outstretched glove. One of many saves the young Ashford keeper made keeping the score to only the 12.

Our keeper Big Tony had a slightly different experience in this match. Having spent 69 minutes and 55 seconds watching the game with, I can only imagine, the excitement one would expect at a Downing Street quiz, one would have thought he’d be keen to get a touch on the one occasion the opposition actually managed to get to our D. Alas it was not to be and the Ashford lads equalled JJ’s 100% conversion rate from the game. This is not the game to retire the number Tony.  

So there we have it. Quite a range of games this term. A fair few goals, a fair few abject performances. Let’s see what 2022 has in store.