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Men's 2s In Driving Seat for the Title

9th March 2020

By Liam Doidge

Men’s 2s 3 – 3 Oxford Brookes University M1

*Everything but the match report* 

After a comfortable win last week against Richmond the boys knew that a win today would almost certainly guarantee the league title and promotion into South Prem. Let’s take a look back at the week leading up to the game...

Last Saturday: The Men’s 1XI won the league, beating Brooklands 7-0 at Sugden Road in addition to the Men’s 3a guaranteeing themselves promotion beating Southgate 4XI 6-3. Well done lads! 

Celebrations were plentiful – unfortunately for the lads the bar ran out of beer – fortunately for Doidge, the bar had a substantial amount of Jack Daniels (not an advertisement). A number of SHC members had their work cut out with tunes of “they’ve got a Lion on their back“ being chanted, to which Theun (not de Nooijer), would spring out of nowhere and jump on the unsuspecting victims.

Sunday: Much to the disappointment (relief) to a number of senior members of the team nursing some sore heads, Sunday morning started with an early wake up call from Glyn, to which Reading 2XI had in-fact pulled out of the Tier 2 Cup Match due to the inability to field a team.


Tuesday: Liverpool lost 2-0 to Chelsea 

Wednesday: There was a lack attendance at training due to report writing, work functions and manscaping

Thursday: Surbiton 1XI beat GB – you heard it – GREAT BRITAIN – 3-2 with goals from Alan “Goal Machine” Forsyth, and Luke “I flick it harder than you” Taylor

Friday: We wanted to give you an insight into how our athletes prepare for such a big game, so here goes...

  • Mark – holding the best defensive record in the league he spent his evening straightening his hair whilst marking books
  • Tinker – was working hard on being a grumpy teenager and slamming his bedroom door: “Mum, I told you not to disturb me when I’m cleaning my room”
  • Tom Smith – standard Netflix & Chill for the big lad
  • Beanhead – writing love notes whilst thinking about proposing...
  • Sherro – manscaping whilst improving his hinge profile #SingleLadiesRevealYourself
  • Birdy – working on his attacking prowess by watching video analysis of the Surrey Storm Netball team 
  • Beaumont – eating salad whilst analysing his turning circle after being compared to the titanic the previous week 
  • Scotty – ironing his post match shorts, eating chips with gravy, taking out the recycling and uploading photos to their dog’s Instagram account
  • Rhys – brushing his teeth and working on his lob wedge
  • Finn Cooper – practicing his V-drag to upload to his TikTok account
  • James Evans – deciding whether to score two goals or get two cards... at the pub 
  • Billy Winter – also at the pub
  • Max Anderson – researching options for his gap yeaaaaar
  • Redders – locking himself in his bathroom to prevent him heading out to Pryzm
  • Doidgey – challenging his inner dancing queen at the village hall in Horsley
  • Niklaus – studying the art of efficiency 

Saturday: The drive up was relatively uneventful but started off well with Sherro having several new connections on Hinge: Lizzie, Katie, Emily and Naomi to name a few. Renditions of “All that she wants, is another baby” were sung in a sweet sweet harmony by fellow passengers Beanhead, Birdy & Doidge. One notable Hinge response we received on our trip was, “Have you played hockey long?” to which Sherro sent a photo of him lifting the Tier 2 National Cup last year... “I’m kind of a big deal”. 

Other things to note: Rhys had to make his standard pit stop at the M40 services to relieve himself; Beaumont rocked up late – shock; Scotty got his standard card; Tinker was pretty good but still can’t chin a pint; Coach Brendan discovered dried mango; Special mention to Baker and all the parents for making the trip up to Oxford.

A good game – we drew 3-3, but a much needed point in our push for promotion. Win the next two games and we win the league.

POM – James Evans – I only ever score two
DOD – Doidge – went for the Martin O’Neil look but ended up more like John Terry #FKW didn’t even play
Goalscorers: James Evans (2) & Tom Beaumont 

Next week we host Henley at home at 1pm. See you there… well I won’t as I’ll be in Barbados, but please get down to support the boys!