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M2 Score Eight to Beat Bournemouth


13th October 2019

By Liam Doidge

SHC M2s 8 – 0 Bournemouth M1s

I couldn't possibly tell you about the team talk or the inspirational values that 'Big Man Liam Doidge' proposed to the team seeing as I rocked up ten minutes late. However, we were 1-0 up within the first ten minutes after an own goal was given to the first man who put up his hand.

Fortunately the average age was increased by the arrival of the cavalry (Bean and Beau) and hence the scoreboard improved; it was 4-0 at half time. Our goals were scored from:
A beautiful passage of play and Zach tapped in the easiest goal he will ever score.
Then BeanHead scored.
Then Doidge scored another corner (boring). 

At half time, we were treated to a tactical masterclass by a wiry, angry, one armed coach. Unfortunately the whiteboard was so wet that his board pen didn't work. Consequently, Beaumont and Doidge had to sort out the press and tactics from the back, which (once the coach went to re-perm his hair) led to another four goals being scored by the mighty 2's. 

Goals in the second half were scored by Doidge (again - boring), Cooper-James (he's very good), J Evans (it was a tap in, he's not as good as Scotty Evans) then Doidge again (really boring).

After the game Doidge said we were good, Rhys said we were good (not sure why we listen to a man who only trains when his girlfriend is running in the desert), Scott said we were good (but that meant he could go and learn from Sarah), Haycroft said our basics weren't good enough - he was probably right.

Fines should be recorded for; BeanHead who subbed himself off without anyone coming on, Beaumont who deliberately tripped their centre half when he was quicker than him, and White who succumbed to small man syndrome and dropped his shoulder into their wingers' neck.

Player of the Match - Doidge 
DoD - Beanhead