SHC Snails WO45s 6 - 2 Teddington Flamingoes (A)

The Snails emerged from their shells, ready for a late afternoon push back against Teddington, feeling particularly happy with a squad of 13. Any smiles were quickly turned upside down however when Teddington revealed that they only had nine and no goalkeeper… and apparently would only play if they had 11. Fee and Charlotte put their heads together and came up with a cunning plan involving two Snails slithering for the oppo for a quarter each, and one of their players bravely volunteered to put the goalie kit on for the first time ever.

Taking it in turns to squeeze ourselves into a child sized pink bib we got the hockey underway. And the Snails were 1-0 up in a matter of minutes as Jo snuck the ball over the line between the unsuspecting goalie’s legs from about a yard. We started as we meant to go on. As we warmed up we remembered captain Sinead’s wise words about being much more effective when we get the ball to do the work and there were some really silky passages of play with the defence connecting impressively with the midfield who released the forwards seeking to take advantage of the inexperienced keeper. Unfortunately, she found her mojo pretty quickly after the first goal and made some very good saves keeping the scoreline closer than it might otherwise have been.

At half time Teddington revealed that the next pitch booking was due to start before our game was scheduled to finish… two shortened quarters followed, which in theory meant that we needed to take advantage of every goal scoring opportunity. This leads me to explain why I ended up writing the match report. On more than one occasion, Jo passed me the ball in the perfect position by the p-spot and I managed to completely miss - something that was harder to do than score!

We won a few short corners and decided to give the new goalie a break and not take a straight strike. This gave us the opportunity to practice our more complicated routines, passing the ball around before theoretically slotting the ball in. Unfortunately we only did this once! But it was a textbook goal from a beautiful routine - even if our ball speed made it appear almost in slow motion!

As the game went on and the sun began to set blindingly in the distance, Teddington got into their groove and Silke made some great saves. We were energised by Charlotte’s wise words from the sideline. Ellie, Debs, Kirst and our newest recruit Jen were solid in defence. Struth worked hard throughout playing in almost every position other than GK. Fee, Sunny, Mandy and Val demonstrated their versatility through the midfield and connected seamlessly. Jo, Anne and I created numerous goal scoring opportunities up front. Anne even scored for them when it was her turn in pink. And I passed the ball to the umpire at some point (in my defence her top was a very similar colour!).

We ended up winning 6-2 (or 7-1 if we’re allowed to count Anne’s goal for the oppo as our own!). There was the goal from the short corner and the others from open play following sublime passages of passing. At least I think that’s what happened - no one seems to remember exactly how each goal unfolded or if it was in fact six. But they all count and a win is a win!

Another lovely afternoon with the Snails. We can now all crawl back into our shells to recover before our next game on Sunday.