SHC Men’s O35s 10 - 0 Horsham MO35s (A)

On Sunday, the MO35s began their campaign in what is Surbiton’s first outing for the England Hockey Competition. They left with one hope: to add to the club’s trophy cabinet in six months time (and not do to pull any muscles or damage any glutes during the process).

With age comes wisdom, but also the chance to finally play as ‘vets’, something that has caused much excitement for some of the ‘younger’ members of the team. So, on sunny Sunday, the newly formed team, under the tutorage of the Women’s 1s manager, James Baker, dusted off their well worn trainers, pulled out their sturdy sticks, stretched out their (not quite as nimble as they once were) legs, and made the journey to Horsham for their first encounter.

Don’t let their age fool you. With Watts, Baker and Beckett starting the dynamic front line, we were a force to be reckoned with, with two of these three scoring possibly a combined 100+ national league goals. However, it was the Irish Dancing National Champion and England Hockey’s Young Player of the Year, Liam Doidge, who opened the scoring with a drag flick that went middle middle. This was followed by some beautiful link up play from Rhys, Roro and Scotty who ensured the ball found its way to Watts, leading him to score his first of four goals. I know what you’re thinking: how many Surbiton legends are in the team? Well, the man, the myth, the legend William Fulker took off his Coaching Director’s cap and put on his astros to return to his playing ways with rapid forward movement that can only be explained by his streamlined new hair cut.

So far so good for the old boys, and even though our bodies are holding out, clearly age is having an impact on Ali Hitch’s brain who forgot what side he was on, constantly gifting the opposition the ball. I can’t believe he actually got a Man of the Match vote - but maybe Charlie Boy wanted a slightly easier S + C session this week. It is also important to mention that Ali was obviously upset at the way he was playing and took his frustration out on the pitch; something that completely ruined our short corner plans for the next few routines.

Some more goals were scored from Wattsy again,  another Liam Doidge classic middle middle drag flick and a beautiful reverse stick finish from Scotty, who finally found himself in a game where he was physically superior to the opposition.

They say you’re never too old to learn something new and James Baker proved this with his  his first ever game of senior hockey. He found himself impeccably positioned for his first goal, but did Horsham a massive favour by sending it wide. Not to be demoralised, later in the first half, he found himself in another brilliant position, with movement off the ball that the Women’s 1s would be proud of, but he was unsuccessful once again. The score finished 6-0 in the first half.

At half time we talked about not conceding any goals, and wise words from Rhys Linnell that we should stop thinking about that 60 yard dream pass and play simple hockey. So what happened? In the first minute, Rhys glanced his eyes forward and saw a pass that would have put Beanhead through on goal. Rhys was roughly 60 yards away, his eyes lit up, and he executed a pass to their centre back; a start to the second half that had the bench crying with laughter.

Then the unimaginable happened. A lovely passage of play found James Baker receiving the ball with just the keeper to beat. He casually pushed the ball in at the near post, and the celebrations began. Baker did his best to impersonate Alan Shearer with finger in the air running towards the baseline (where there were no supporters) but fair play to the man… first ever hockey goal for Surbiton, something even Beckie Middleton couldn’t believe happened.

Some more goals were scored, another middle middle by Doidge to complete his hat-trick, Philpo went ice-skating, literally falling over with no one in sight, and then Dave Bartram found himself in front of goal with the ball (or so he thought). He was actually on the baseline and with all the chat of not scoring yet, he took it upon himself to flick the ball past the keeper’s ear. He missed, ever so slightly over the bar may I add, but instead what he found was that the Men’s 2s coach was standing on the back post cursing some Spanish expletives as to why he didn’t pass the ball flat for an easy tap in (please don’t drop me Rorro). Maybe age doesn’t bring wisdom after all.

With only ten minutes to go, Horsham looked like they were going to score but Mark Haycroft came to the rescue with a double save. However, a triple save was needed as Sam Newton sprinted from Exeter to stop the ball on the line to keep the clean sheet. This was one of maybe two contributions for Mark all game (he obviously knew he wasn’t going to be busy, wearing leggings when it’s 15 degrees, what a disgrace).

Matt Sheridan was back in form, making some excellent tackles and Martin Dye AKA Ravvers was calm and composed on the ball throughout the game. David Beckett tried a few times to hit the back of the net (he did score one), and was obviously disappointed that his manager had equalled  his own scoring tally… I’m sure there is more to come from this Surbiton legend as the tournament progresses. Talking of which, Philpo got really emotional after the game, having played a game with his hockey hero, David. Bit strange though, there’s only one year’s age gap between the two.

The game finished 10-0. A really positive start but some tough opposition to come in the next rounds. A massive thank you to the crowd who ventured over to the Horsham, as much as they would have been wowed by the facilities, the hockey was more impressive today.

A few things to take from today:

⁃ Scotty didn’t get a card
⁃ Rhys doesn’t listen to his own advice
⁃ Wattsy is a goal magnet
⁃ Baker loves all sport
⁃ Sam is so committed to this team
⁃ Philpo played with his hero
⁃ Beanhead should be a defender if he can’t score goals
⁃ Mark kept warm

We look forward to the next draw. If it is a home game, hope to see as many people down at Sugden Road on the 30th November.

POM - Dave Beckett

DOD - Dave Bartram (Beanhead)

To age. To wisdom. To hockey.