Jokers 5 - 0 Spencer Vintage (A)
By Paul Gyles
South Masters Mens O50 Premiership
Team: Tony Haycroft GK, Steve Todd, Nick Sait, Jim Sayer, Chris Beaney, Martin Dye, Paul Dowthwaite, Rob Stone, Andrew Wingfield, Paul Gyles, Steven Hardy, Simon Jackson, Jim Hey (Capt)
The Jokers came into the game against top flying Spencer protecting an unbeaten start to 2025. Pre-game concerns centred around the Jims. Would enigmatic right back flyer Jim Sayer’s hamstring go and would captain Jim Hey be able to peel off his recently acquired official Surbiton HC ladies section extra small shiny tracksuit bottoms. Both proved troublesome!
In a low paced, low intensity start the Jokers miraculously found themselves carving Spencer to pieces through precise passing and transfers. The precision did not extend into the D, where Stoner’s gun sights were off by five degrees with shots flashing past the post and Jim’s were off by a slightly wider margin with a beautiful drag flick flashing past the corner flag. With the opposition describing Surbiton’s dominance akin to that of a coconut shy it was only a matter of time. Finally, the deadlock was broken with a Stoner short corner deflected into the roof for a half time lead.
Calming half time words from Big T, Jim and the other 11 captains brought a renewed focus on putting the white round thing in between the two posts. Champagne hockey flowed through the second half, albeit more Tesco’s Finest than Dom Perignon gold edition 1996.
Gyles volleyed the Jokers into a two goal lead following Dowthwaite’s menace in a crowded D, a lead that was never going to be relinquished with Big T turning in some crucial mid match saves. An end-to-end move followed with Wingers setting up Jim Hey for the goal of the match, before he added the fourth after the Spencer keeper trod on the ball. Great distribution from Toddy and Noaksy, the tenacity of Ravvers and the selfless running of overlapping full backs Chris and Saity kept the Jokers’ hockey purring at previously unseen levels. After Gyles went close and Jacko had played pat-a-cake with the Spencer keeper, Stoner sealed the fiver with another deflected short corner with the games last piece of action.
A grand day out was completed with a compelling Ted Talk from Saity on Bournemouth FC and Ravvers attempt to get Wingers to stop at every pub in South London on the way home.